Magic NPC (ml_npc) wrote in hoggy_herald,
Magic NPC

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Because you have to love pointless anonymous Herald articles

Noteworthy News: O'Malley in Malfoy Scandal
By: Anonymous people who are crap at titles

We all know her name – Nora O'Malley (Ravenclaw, 5) has been consistent in bringing us the latest news at Hogwarts for the past four and a bit years. But what's really hiding underneath her innocent exterior? It seems Nora's been just as busy as everyone else she's slandered.

Our sources confirm that O'Malley has been cheating on her boyfriend of one year, Matthew Mulligan (Ravenclaw, 5) with none other than Slytherin Prefect Draco Malfoy (7). The affair was kept secret for a good many months until O'Malley had to confess the truth to Mulligan. Why? She'd contracted a horrible disease from the Prefect, causing her to become...a Wereferret. Yes, you read that right, folks. In a world where Werewolves and Wererabbits are commonplace, is it any wonder that the Malfoy family might be hiding an appalling secret as well?

Faced with this ghastly news concerning her future life, O'Malley was reported to be drowning her sorrows in firewhiskey when she was caught by none other than esteemed Potions Master, Severus Snape. Of course, as everyone knows, alcohol consumption on the grounds is illegal and she was instantly expelled.

"But we still see her in school!" you might protest. Well, don't be surprised to hear that there was some under the table passing of Galleons, allowing young O'Malley to finish her education here with the rest of us.

With such a colourful life herself, is it any wonder O'Malley feels it is her destiny to share the stories of others? One must almost certainly feel pity for the poor, diseased Ravenclaw. Sympathy cards can be sent to Ravenclaw Tower, Hogwarts Castle, Scotland.

And that's the truth behind everyone's favourite gossip.
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