By Hogwarts' very own Agony Aunt, Charlotte Pollaine.
Do you think it's selfish to indulge in personal grief in times like this? Also, should bullies be avoided or stood up to?
- Sad and Confused Badger
Dear Sad and Confused Badger,
I think grief is unconstructive at the best of times! Would your departed loved one have wanted you to mope around for ages? Feel free to come to one of my group therapy sessions and we can work on getting you to cheer up. You're not alone!
In response to your second question, the important thing to remember about bullies is that they're victims of society. They shouldn't be avoided or stood up to but shown love and kindness. For example, I once threw a surprise party for a girl named Mildred* who most people thought was a bully, and afterwards I saw a definite improvement in her behaviour! So show some understanding and you might just make a new friend!
* Name changed to hide her identity.
Dear Advice bitch,
My friends are leaving me one by one. The only one I have left is in an inappropriate relationship, and I don't know if I can trust him, and that scares the shite out of me.
How do I make people just shut up and do what I say?
The problem is not with your friends, but with you! You obviously have issues with control and this is probably why your friends are leaving you. No one likes a person who always has to have their way! I suggest you start listening to your friends - and of course, I'm always here if you need to work through your issues.
I am absolutely at my wits end. I don't have many friends, and one of my friends is a bloke in my House that I have liked for a long time. Despite him being daft, cruel, mean, mental, jealous and not actually quite as fit as my other friend, I still like him, because I know him. I know that he's really very clever, very kind, considerate cute, yes cute he really is cute. I have tried to give this boy clues that I fancy him since I was thirteen, but he doesn't get it! I've tried to make him jealous, I've tried to give him clues. I've tried everything except grabbing him in the halls and snogging him silly, and no that isn't an option. I have a standard to maintain. Younger students look up to me.
But not only does he ignore me, well not me but the fact that I'm a woman with wants and needs, I find him being friendly with people I consider to be not unscrupulous, if not downright nasty. The thing is, he thought of them the same way not so long ago, but now he's turned the other cheek. He can do that with them, but he can't look at me in a new way?
There've been a couple of times when I thought that maybe I had gotten through to him, but he always seems to forget about it. I'm sick and bloody tired of crying over him. Of course, I've hit rock bottom to go ahead and ask you for help. Not that you cannot give good advice, I'm not saying that. Oh, just tell me what to do, how to either learn how to give him up or to do something that'll get his attention.
Thank you in advance. Cordially,
What a long letter! I can tell you have a lot on your mind.
This friend of yours doesn't sound like a very nice person, even if he is cute. But if you really want him, then show him you care with a gesture that can't be ignored.
I like your suggestion of grabbing him in the halls and snogging him silly. Are you really worried about your reputation? I think you're worried that he'll push you away and you'll be humiliated. But isn't it worth a try anyway? There's a saying that it's better to regret something you did do than something you didn't do.
Then again, you could always try talking to him. Does he know how you feel? Most people are surprisingly dense at picking up emotional cues. Whatever you do, I wish you the best of luck - and tell me how it goes!